Until We're Home Read online

  “This is cruel,” Isocrice said before she could stop herself. “Why should a boy pay for his father’s sins?”

  The Conjurer trained her eyes on the mage. Isocrice’s knew that her death was approaching. She tried not to think about what would happen when she was gone. She was getting on in age and despite an unsuccessful attempt, she had never been able to produce a child with such an aptitude for magic. Her hair was thinning and her eyes were getting darker. Mages got bolder as they got older. They had less to lose. But no one yet, in all of the Conjurer’s years presiding over the citadel, had dared accuse her of cruelty. Isocrice didn’t care much anymore. A thin smile played on The Conjurer’s lips.

  “This is what must be done,” The Conjurer said. “And you will do as you are tasked. Guards, bring the girl in.”

  The doors opened and Salisei Lahtinen was brought in. She was just as beautiful as her brother. Though they were generally a beautiful people, the Lahtinen clan was outstandingly so. Everyone knew who they were just from their striking cheekbones, their perfectly clear eyes, their constantly changing hair color. She looked around before her gaze landed on The Conjurer. The girl held her breath instead of saying nothing.

  “Don’t be concerned, dear,” The Conjurer said. Salisei nodded, her lips tightly shut, her skin turning even paler than usual “Step into the light.”

  Salisei did as she was told, not without hesitation.

  “Look into the fire,” The Conjurer commanded her. Again, she did as she was told. Though the image was dim and flickered in and out of view, Isocrice was projecting Taln for her.

  * * *

  Salisei wrung her hands. Being called to The Conjurer’s presence had been scary before, but after her brother was exiled, it was terrifying. Up until she had seen Taln in the bonfire, she believed that she was going to be told he was dead.

  She already knew he was dead. People exiled from the Citadel died more often than not. It was rare for these deaths to be confirmed, but it happened every now and then.

  But she had been wrong. Taln was alive. He was wearing strange clothes and some sort of hard looking headscarf. And he was doing something weird with his mouth. It was as if he was grinning, but his face was moving, too. There were wrinkles around his eyes. Another person, maybe a little older than him, was with him, though Salisei couldn’t tell their gender.

  “He’s laughing, child,” The Conjurer said. “That’s what it’s called.”

  “Laughing?”

  “Yes, laughing. That is what people in that realm do when they are happy,” The Conjurer said. “You should see how your brother actually feels about you. You thought he would be trying to find a way back once you knew it was possible, did you not?”

  “Yes, Conjurer,” Salisei replied. Her eyes were watering but she really didn’t want to cry in front of the most powerful person in the Citadel.

  “He doesn’t want to come back for you,” The Conjurer said. “He has found happiness where he is.”

  Salisei tried to commit The Conjurer’s appearance to memory, but she was ephemeral. She always had, but it was impossible. Her body looked like a reflection of a reflection, ripples cutting through her skin.

  “I was told he was punished,” Salisei said to the floor, her voice barely above a whisper.

  “It may not look like it to you now, but he is being punished,” The Conjurer replied. “You are unable to see it. He will be back, but not for you.”

  Salisei looked up at her again.

  “Show her, Isocrice,” The Conjurer said.

  “I can’t see into the future,” The Mage’s hands were her hands fists at her side.

  “The older you get, the weaker you get,” The Conjurer snapped. “Show her, Isocrice. You know what’s in store for you if you don’t.”

  Isocrice nodded. “This is only one possibility,” she waved her hand over the blue flame. It swirled and fizzled, slowly starting to turn from blue into grey.

  The image of Taln’s face was less clear. He was still wearing strange clothes, though they were different this time. The room he was in was stark white, a kind of blinding white she had never witnessed before. It seemed unaffected by the bonfire it was being transmitted through. Taln wasn’t wearing a head covering anymore. He had his head bowed and his face buried in his hands. His fingers shivered and his back moved up and down. His skin had taken on an odd green shade. She could feel his pain through the fire.

  Salisei swallowed. “What is the matter with him?”

  Isocrice opened her mouth to speak, but The Conjurer held up her hand and stopped her. “Irrelevant. All you should know is that it isn’t about you.”

  “I want to help him,” Salisei said, unsure of what to make of The Conjurer’s words.

  “You seem unable to understand. He doesn’t want your help, Salisei. He has abandoned you. If he comes back, it will not be for you,” The Conjurer replied. She held Salisei’s eyes for what seemed like minutes, as if daring her to cry. A small smile spread on her face when Salisei didn’t break. “You may return to your duties now. Do not tell anyone about this meeting.”

  “Yes, Conjurer,” Salisei said before turning her back on the woman and going through the open door.

  * * *

  “How’s this?” Puck held the fork with the ends of his fingers, as if he were a toddler.

  Jesse laughed. “Better than eating scrambled eggs with your hands,” he said. “But I still can’t take you to dinner. Watch me. Look, you’re supposed to hold it like this, right? So it’s pointed downward and the food doesn’t get on you.”

  “I thought you were supposed to eat this with your hands.”

  “Yes, well, I’m getting a little sick of chicken nuggets. It’s nothing personal. But if I have to eat finger foods again because you don’t know how to use utensils, there’s at least a fifty percent chance I’m going to get violent,” Jesse replied, smiling. “Come on. They’re the perfect food to practice on. Just stick the fork in them.”

  “Fine,” Puck said, doing as he was told.

  Jesse laughed again. “No, silly. After you hold it like I am.”

  “Oh.” Puck tried to position his hand the same as Jesse’s. “Yes. Fine.”

  “Okay, now stab the food. Okay, good. Now dip it in the sauce and put it in your mouth. Don’t bite down on the fork that hard, you’ll hurt your teeth. Gross. Okay, good. Now chew. See? It’s not too bad, is it?”

  Puck shook his head and finished the chicken nugget he’d put in his mouth, swallowing it. Jesse laughed again.

  “Why are you always laughing at me?”

  “I don’t know,” he replied. “I’m not laughing at you. I’m just laughing at the fact that this is my life. I’m teaching a super-hot guy how to eat with a fork, you know?”

  “Is there something else you are meant to be doing?” Puck stabbed another piece of chicken and dipped it into the sauce before putting it in his mouth again.

  “Probably,” Jesse said. “But nothing I would rather be doing.”

  “Except teaching an adult how to eat,” Puck smiled.

  Jesse laughed once more, putting his hand over his mouth. “You are making jokes now.”

  “Well, it’s like you said. I’m adapting.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Jesse and Rayne sat together in Rayne’s living room. Pete was on rotation at the hospital and Puck was sleeping in the guest bedroom. Puck was sleeping in the guest bedroom and they were watching dumb movies and talking about nothing. Well, nothing, until now. Jesse had come knowing this was an ambush when Rayne had asked him to come over on the weekend. She was concerned and Jesse couldn’t blame her. The food usually made it worth it.

  “He needs a bed, Jesse,” Rayne said before putting her sushi roll in her mouth. She swallowed and continued. “Maybe he’ll take the bed you didn’t want.”

  “Sleeping somewhere palatial feels weird,” Jesse’s tone was a little more aggressive than he intended to be. “Plus your sofa fits about two of
me.”

  “It’s not palatial, it’s a regular size room,” Rayne said, looking at her plate.

  “Yeah, even you don’t believe that,” Jesse replied. “How are you used to this place?”

  “Well, we thought it would be full of children by now. Obviously not. I’m not used to it. I want to downsize but it’s nice to be able to help when shit hits the fan.”

  “Right,” Jesse said. “Except every day you have to walk into the place that was going to be your nursery and see some kid that was kicked out of his house for liking dick.”

  Rayne smiled. “You have such a way with words. Have you thought about becoming a writer?”

  “Have you thought about fucking off?” Jesse smiled then took a quick breath. “You’re right. He needs a bed.”

  “Not your bed,” Rayne said.

  Jesse sighed. “I didn’t say anything. He doesn’t just need a bed; he needs a job. He needs to know his name. He’s still pretty…”

  “Pretty what?”

  “Confused,” Jesse replied. “That’s what I was going to say.”

  Rayne nodded. “Sure. He won’t like being away from you. But he’ll do whatever you tell him, right?”

  “Yes,” Jesse rolled his eyes. “He probably will. I told him he doesn’t need to.”

  Rayne finished chewing before looking towards the hallway. “What else do you expect him to do?”

  Jesse rubbed his temple. “I have no idea. He’s definitely not a runaway, right?”

  “If he is, no one cares,” Rayne shrugged. “No one is coming to look for him.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Yeah,” Rayne said. “I know.”

  * * *

  “It should be more comfortable,” Jesse said, putting the last of Puck’s things inside a black backpack. “Is that really all that you own?”

  Puck watched him, not saying anything.

  Jesse sighed. “How are you feeling about this?”

  “Fine,” Puck said, rubbing his temple. “My head hurts.”

  “Okay,” Jesse said. “Look, we’ll still see each other, alright? You just can’t stay on my sofa forever. I’m sure you’re missing your privacy, too.”

  Puck didn’t say anything. Jesse moved the bag towards him.

  “Look, I’m not kicking you out, alright? This is just unsustainable. Like, this place is tiny. My electricity bill is through the roof because you never stop watching television. And I don’t want you to have to stop. I’m just saying. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t want to have you around, because I do.”

  “Fine,” Puck repeated. “Do you have any Aspearin?”

  “Aspirin. And I put a bottle of it in your bag, front pocket.”

  “The bag doesn’t belong to me.”

  “It does now,” Jesse said. “Consider it a parting gift.”

  “A parting gift?”

  “Puck,” Jesse said. “We’ll do it right, okay? I’ll take you out to dinner and stuff. We can go to the movies. I assume you’ve never been to the movies?”

  “No.” Puck played with the strap on the backpack. “Thank you for this.”

  “It’s fine. Anything I can do to help.”

  “You always help,” Puck replied, smiling at him. “With everything.”

  Jesse chuckled. “I’m going to miss you.”

  Puck nodded. “When?”

  “When will I miss you?”

  “You said we would see each other again,” Puck said. “When?”

  Jesse bit his lower lip, unable to suppress his smile. “How about Saturday? I can pick you up for lunch. We can go get some food and then hang out for a while.”

  “Another date?”

  “Yes. Another date.”

  “I would like that,” Puck replied before frowning. “Which day is Saturday?”

  * * *

  “Do you like it?” Rayne said.

  Puck looked around. There was a window that covered most of the back wall. A double bed with a white and blue duvet sat in the middle in the room.

  “Yes. This is fine.”

  “Feel free to keep your door closed, but I’ll knock when it’s time for dinner,” Rayne said. “Sometimes Peter can’t join us because he’s at the hospital. And that’s your bathroom, through that door. Do you need anything? Are you thirsty?”

  “I don’t need anything,” Puck said. “Who else sleeps here?”

  Rayne smiled. “Just you, hun.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, Puck, I’m sure,” Rayne replied. “Just make yourself at home, okay?”

  He watched her close the door softly behind her as she left. His bag was on the floor. The room was huge, way bigger than any chamber he had ever been in. He kicked his shoes off and sat on the bed.

  Was he supposed to sleep there? He’d never slept on a bed before. At least not by himself. Jesse’s bed was smaller and he had been warm. This room was so big, he wondered if he would be warm at all, though he never seemed to be cold anymore. Still, he felt a shiver down his spine and crossed his arms over his chest before leaning backwards onto the bed and looking at the vaulted ceiling. He stretched out his arms towards it, trying to see if he could feel the magic coursing through his veins. He still felt nothing. He wondered if he would ever be able to perform magic again. He had, when Jesse had been in trouble, and that had been good. But it was still not enough. He was still useless. Even so, humans were kind.

  At least to him. They seemed to be less kind to each other. He didn’t feel equipped to ask about that when he was still trying to understand the odd way they spoke.

  Rayne and the healer, they were kind. He wondered what kind of payment they were expecting. Surely they would be giving him tasks to do in the morning. He rubbed the side of his head as he took the bottle of pills out of the front pocket of his bag and tried, for what seemed like forever, to open it. Finally, after he was about to give up, the contents spilled all over the floor.

  Puck had never been clumsy before arriving at this realm. Sighing, he got on his knees and started to collect the little pills scattered everywhere. He put them all in the bottle before he stood up and put it under the sink, balancing the lid on the side.

  Jesse had told him he was supposed to wash everything that had fallen on the floor. And food was a no-go. He filled the bottle up halfway with water before shaking it gently. He watched as the sides of the white bottle seemed to be tinted by red ink and little numbers started to appear on each pill. Satisfied with the results, he tilted the bottle over his hands, letting the water run onto the sink from the spaces between his fingers. Shaking it once more, he finally made it upright and took a pill from it.

  The unpleasant taste covered his tongue and the sides of his mouth almost instantly. He spat it out into the sink and watched it go down the drain.

  Had he done something wrong? Had he ruined all the aspirin?

  He turned around to face the outside of the bathroom, ready to look into the living room and scan for Jesse. But the only thing that greeted him was an empty room and an oversized bed.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Jesse looked at the nearly empty bottle of wine before sighing and pouring himself another glass. He looked at his nails. They needed to be done again. At least that would take his mind off things, off how empty his apartment felt. Every time he looked at the empty sofa, he felt his heart drop. He traced the rim of the glass with his fingertip and looked at the television before grabbing the remote and turning it on. He smiled at The Real Housewives of Las Vegas and wondered exactly how much reality TV Puck watched for a second.

  He stopped, smiling when his gaze landed on the empty sofa again. He took a big sip and closed his eyes, leaning back on the chair. He had planned the entire evening out. He was supposed to drink a great bottle of wine, have a bath then spend the rest of the night in bed, touching himself. The wine hadn’t been as satisfying as he was expecting. Instead of making him feel happy, it had just made him long for Puck. He was the last thing Jesse
wanted to think about.

  Puck said he wasn’t a minor, but how could Jesse trust anything he said? While something odd had happened, it didn’t prove anything. It definitely didn’t prove that it was okay to be in a relationship with Puck. He didn’t even know Puck’s real name. He had no idea where he came from, what he liked. He would just do whatever Jesse asked.

  Maybe that was the reason Jesse liked him so much.

  No, that wasn’t it. He had liked him before he’d known that he would just do whatever. Puck was smart and interesting. And he always made Jesse smile whenever he was around.

  Jesse groaned and opened his eyes. Maybe his bath was ready. Maybe that would make him stop thinking about Puck. As got to his feet, he heard someone knock at his door.

  “Who is it?” Jesse shouted, knowing that whoever was on the other side of the door couldn’t hear him. He thought about answering the door, but decided against it. He opted instead for staring at his now empty glass. The knocking started again, this time louder and more insistent.

  “Go away,” he muttered under his breath. It had no effect. He rolled his eyes. “Coming!”

  The yelling seemed to have no effect either. Whoever was at the door seemed to be getting annoyed. Jesse didn’t even bother looking through the peephole before he opened the door, ready to tell his unannounced visitor to go away, only to find Jon leaning against the wall, a smile on his face.

  “Jesus, you’re drunk,” Jesse said.

  “Are you going to invite me in? I brought party favors,” Jon said with a wink.

  “Party favors?”

  “Well, I can’t talk to you about that in the hallway, can I?”

  Jesse smiled “Fine. Come on in. But you can’t stay, alright?”

  “Why? Are you seeing someone?” Jon replied, smiled back. “That white kid?”

  Jesse chuckled and shook his head. “I have no idea how to answer that. Come in. Sit down. You said you had party favors?”

  “Weed. Meow meow,” he said. “A little coke.”

  Jesse laughed. “I just wanted a quiet night to myself.”

  Jon sighed. “Look, I can get out of your hair. I just wanted to, I don’t know, apologize. I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until—”