Until We're Home Read online

  “It’s fine.”

  “Ugh,” Jesse said. “Alright. Are you thirsty?”

  He moved his tongue around the roof of his mouth. “No.”

  “Okay,” Jesse replied. He went into the kitchen and opened a cupboard. Puck heard the crash and whipped his head around to see Jesse standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding one of his hands with the other one. “Fuck!”

  Puck frowned and started towards him. “You are hurt,” he said quietly. “It’s nothing,” Jesse replied. “Just dropped a glass and it shattered. Think it scratched me a bit. Put your shoes on before you come in here.”

  Puck put his feet in his boots and returned. Jesse stood in the kitchen, biting his lower lip. He looked like he was trying to choke back tears. “What’s the matter?”

  “It bounced onto my hands. I know this is really weird but I have, like, a phobia of sharp edges. Can’t deal with them at all.”

  “I don’t understand,” Puck said, watching the blood trickle out of Jesse’s skin and falling onto his wrist, one thin line of blood spreading over his arm. Jesse nodded. He had paled. Puck could recall his sister getting hurt after falling over and scratching her knees, blood trickling down to her ankles. It didn’t seem to affect her as much. Maybe the people in this realm had a lower pain tolerance, he thought, watching Jesse’s eyes get impossibly wide. His lips were almost the same shade as the rest of his skin.

  “You have to take it out,” Jesse said. “I can’t.”

  “What?”

  “Look,” Jesse said, his voice really quiet. Puck was having to strain to hear him. Jesse turned his arm upside down and revealed a shard of glass, a little longer than Jesse’s little finger, sticking out from the palm of his hand. “I need to sit down. I’m going to faint.”

  “You are in distress,” Puck said, looking up at him. Jesse’s breathing was shallow.

  He swallowed, closing his eyes, and nodded. “I’m really close to freaking out. You need to take it out.”

  “Take it out of you?”

  “I don’t have time for this,” Jesse replied, his words so quick they seemed to merge into each other. He grabbed Puck’s arm with his right hand to steady himself. “Please. Get it out.”

  “How?”

  “Oh my God, just pull it,” Jesse said, his grip tightening on Puck’s arm. Puck looked up at Jesse. His eyes were filling with tears. “Stop. Talking.”

  “You are in distress,” Puck said again, this time realizing that his breathing was also quickened. There was something wrong. His heart was beating faster than it had since the night he had gotten there.

  “Take it out, please,” Jesse said, waving his hand in front of him. “Please.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, now!”

  Puck grabbed Jesse’s wrist and watched the blood pool around his fingers. Jesse’s hand was moving. No, moving wasn’t the right word. It was spasming. He could feel Jesse’s quickened pulse under his thumb. Cautiously, aware that he could hurt him further, Puck grabbed the edge of the triangular glass that was sticking and started to wiggle it. He wasn’t sure how to do any healing without magic.

  “Just pull it,” Jesse said.

  Puck did as he was told, pulling the glass from Jesse’s hand. The cut was bad. Puck set the glass down on the counter and looked at Jesse. “Are you still in distress?”

  Jesse looked back at him, exhaling through his nose. “Is there any more glass anywhere?”

  Puck narrowed his eyes as he analyzed Jesse’s hands. “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” Puck said, bringing Jesse’s hand closer his face. “You are still in distress.”

  Jesse nodded, trying to breathe deeply now. He was breathing in through his nose and then out through his mouth and his skin was still pale as snow. The way the sentinels would get after they had just seen a monster.

  He put his hand over Jesse’s own and tried to focus. Everything blurred for a second when he closed his eyes and electricity surged through his body. His heart raced and a smile spread over his face.

  Jesse looked at his hand and blinked. “What did you do?”

  “I healed you,” Puck said. “Look.”

  He grabbed Jesse’s wrist and pointed his own hand towards his face.

  “You don’t have to be upset anymore,” Puck said. “Look.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Jesse watched the small ripples in his cup of tea as he listened to Puck’s story. Again. And again. And again. It didn’t matter how many times he asked Puck to repeat himself, he could hardly believe it.

  Puck was patient with him. He didn’t mind telling Jesse his story, though he didn’t understand why he found it so difficult to believe. With such potent magic in this realm, it seemed hard to comprehend why they hadn’t been able to break through to other ones. That was the concept Jesse seemed to be struggling with the most. Still watching the ripples in his tea, Jesse held a hand up, but Puck didn’t stop talking.

  “I get it,” Jesse said quietly. “You can stop repeating yourself now. I have a lot of questions.”

  “I can answer them,” Puck replied.

  “Good,” Jesse said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I can’t do this right now, though. I think I need a nap.”

  “Yeah,” Puck said.

  Jesse smiled. “You’re learning the lingo.”

  “Yeah,” Puck said again, smiling back at him. Puck offered the first smile Jesse had ever witnessed from him.

  “So does that mean you’re an adult? The, um, trial?”

  “I have come of age,” Puck said.

  Jesse laughed. “Thank God.”

  “I can’t see a difference,” Puck said.

  “So everything is the same but different?”

  “No,” Puck said. “Everything is different.”

  “Oh, what do you eat?”

  “Vegetables. Meat every now and then, when someone new comes to the citadel. That doesn’t happen often.”

  “So you have livestock?”

  “No,” Puck said. “When someone travels between the citadels, they must confront the monsters our magic protects us from. If they are lucky, they bring some in exchange for acceptance.”

  “You have monsters? What are they like?”

  Puck looked away. “I’ve never seen one. But their meat is hard and chewy. The children don’t get much, usually. It’s given to the council to decide what to do with.”

  “Right,” Jesse said. “Don’t you miss your family?”

  “I feel longing for her,” Puck took a sip from his cup of tea. He didn’t really like hot drinks, but they seemed to be what people in this realm did whenever they were tense. They always offered him one and it seemed to confuse them when he refused. He noticed that the people of Earth rarely seemed to say what they meant.

  Jesse nodded. “Your girlfriend?”

  “I don’t know what that is. My sister. She’s fifteen. She’ll be banished if I am unable to convince them to take me back. But every time I try to gather up the courage to try to communicate with her, nothing happens. Sometimes, I just want to forget about her.”

  “I know that feeling,” Jesse said. “What’s going on with her?”

  “The Lahtinen clan is not in good standing and the council is doing whatever they can to get rid of us.”

  “I have a sister, too.”

  Puck waited. People usually spoke at length about family in his realm. But Jesse didn’t say anything. “Rayne?”

  Jesse laughed. “No, Rayne isn’t my sister. I don’t really talk to her. My sister, that is. I talk to Rayne a lot.”

  “You can do that?”

  “Yeah,” Jesse said. “I can just choose not to talk to whoever I want.”

  * * *

  Puck examined his arms under the white electric light in the bathroom. He searched for green veins, which he noticed were visible on Jesse’s arm when he was trying to pull out the shard, but he didn’t find any. He knew he had veins, he was
annoyed he wasn’t able to see them. Even when made his hands into a fist, he couldn’t see anything under his skin. He sighed.

  Despite how close he felt to Jesse, he could never be a human. There were things about the two of them that were just different, like how sheer their skin was.

  He wouldn’t have thought of it once thirty minutes ago, but the way Jesse had looked at him on the sofa, as if he was a stranger, it had him thinking about everything that was different about them. Still, if there were no rules Jesse had to follow, why had he been so nice to him? What was he getting out of it?

  He knew what he was getting. Good food, adequate lodging, access to water, and amazing magic. The only thing he had ever done for Jesse was take a shard out of his arm and that seemed to have taken him forever.

  Puck closed his eyes, trying to think of a reason for what Jesse was doing. But his head was completely blank. He couldn’t think of one benefit for his host. Perhaps the hungry way he looked at him meant something, but he wasn’t sure exactly what. And he hadn’t touched him since the first night he had taken him into his house, even if it had almost seemed like he would at times.

  Now that he knew what Puck really was, he expected to have to find new accommodation. Jesse’s use for him had probably come to an end. People in his realm didn’t like strangers and from what he had been able to observe, they didn’t seem to care much for them here either.

  He turned the tap on and washed his face with cold water before looking at himself in the mirror. He had never really seen his reflection before, not in a mirror this clear, this perfect.

  His reflection was giving him a headache. He hadn’t really had them before coming to this realm, but he supposed that was the price he had to pay.

  It didn’t seem like one too high to pay for not having rules dictate every part of your life.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “Come on,” Jesse said. “You can sleep when you’re dead.”

  Puck glared at him. He hated being awoken when he was sleeping, something that had only happened in this realm. He hadn’t realized just how much he appreciated his solid block of sleep. As soon as his duties were over, he retreated to the Great Hall, where all the children slept until dawn. There was some recreational time if people’s tasks were done before night had fallen, but it was rare. No one had ever interrupted his sleep before he had been exiled. He was about to protest when he saw Jesse’s smiling face and swallowed.

  “I don’t think people sleep when they’re dead.”

  “That is… not what I meant. Come on. You’re magical or whatever. I want to show you some actual fun shit before you see how shitty this place is. Why did they send you here?”

  “I don’t know,” Puck replied.

  “Right,” Jesse said, exhaling. “I don’t know why I ask you questions. We’re going to the beach today. Do you have beaches at home?”

  “Near oceans? Oceans are dangerous. We try to stay far away from the shore.”

  “Oh, dangerous how? Sharks?”

  “No,” Puck said. “They can swallow you and never let you go. What are sharks?”

  Jesse laughed. “Don’t worry about it. Do your people not swim?”

  “Swim?”

  Jesse sighed. “Alright. Come on. We’re going to the beach. I’m taking you out and buying you food, like I should have done when I met you. That way I won’t feel guilty about…”

  “Wait,” Jesse said. “I’m doing this wrong. Hold on. You’re making me nervous. Why are you always staring at me?”

  Puck shrugged. “I like looking at you.”

  Jesse’s cheeks reddened and set his gaze on the floor. “Fuck, alright. Here goes. Would you like to go on a date with me? And before you say you don’t know what that is, it’s a thing where basically I try to impress you.”

  “Why?”

  “Well,” Jesse replied. “Because I like you. I want you to find me interesting.”

  “I do find you interesting.”

  “Ugh, okay. How about this. Would you like us to spend the day together? I can show you around our realm, as you call it. You can see what our ocean is like. And I won’t leave your side at all during the day. How does that sound?”

  “I think I would like that,” Puck said.

  Jesse smiled at him then sighed.

  Puck frowned. “What?”

  “It’s nothing,” Jesse replied. “Forget about it. Get some towels from the linen closet, okay? Not the small ones but the big ones with the bright colors. I’ll get everything else ready. And Puck?”

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t stare at me when we’re outside. It freaks me out.”

  * * *

  “Okay,” Jesse said, holding up a bottle of sunscreen. “Lather this on your skin. It’s to protect you from the harmful UV rays of the sun.”

  Puck blinked. Jesse was getting used to explaining everything, in detail, even when it seemed like the most basic thing to him. Thankfully, Puck was a quick study. The way he understood things was odd, but at least he seemed to understand them somewhat, even if that way was abstract.

  “It’s a protective spell,” Puck said, grabbing the bottle and squeezing it over the palm of his hand. The lid came off and the cream spilled everywhere. Jesse laughed.

  “Yes, something like that,” he said. “Except you need a lot less. Here, give me your hand.”

  Puck held out his hand. Jesse grabbed it. Puck’s fingers were sticky and cold. He tried to take as much of the excess cream as he could and rubbed it on his own bare arms.

  “Do this. Your skin is so lovely. You don’t want the sun to wreck it,” he said quietly. Puck nodded and started mirroring his actions, lathering the cream into his skin. Jesse looked away, biting his lower lip. Seeing Puck half-naked again was making him think back to the first night that they had spent together.

  “What?”

  “Sorry, did you say something?”

  “Yes,” Puck said. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing,” Jesse said and smiled at the floor. “I like looking at you, too.”

  “Then why aren’t you?”

  Jesse closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose, still smiling. “I don’t know.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “Wait,” Jesse said, turning to face him again. “You missed a spot.”

  “Where?”

  “Here,” Jesse replied, smearing Puck’s nose with the sticky, cold lotion. “See?”

  Puck jerked away at first, but seemed to reconsider it and grinned at him. “The ocean is nice.”

  “The beach is nice,” Jesse corrected him. “The ocean is cold. Come on, let’s go for a swim.”

  * * *

  The car was too warm. Jesse had turned on the air conditioner on full blast and was waiting for it to cool down before he tried to put his hands on the wheel again. The car smelled of French fries and burgers. Despite the unpleasant surroundings, Jesse was smiling.

  “So,” he said. “What did you think? Did you have fun?”

  “The ocean is very nice here,” Puck replied. “Most pleasant and calm.”

  Jesse shook his head. “Sometimes. Not always. Sometimes it can be very scary. Things are always changing here.”

  “Everything?”

  “Yeah, everything, really. Haven’t you noticed it?”

  “I suppose so. The weather is always changing. It’s warm here, but not always. Sometimes it’s as dark as it was back home.”

  “Yup,” Jesse avoided meeting Puck’s gaze. “That’s just one example of it.”

  “What else changes?”

  “Hmmm,” Jesse said. “Everything, I don’t know. Feelings.”

  “Have your feelings changed?”

  Jesse swallowed. “My feelings about what?”

  Puck frowned, closing his eyes. “I don’t know. It’s as if I almost know, but I still don’t know.”

  “Right,” Jesse breathed in and out slowly, as he tried to keep his quickening heart from distracting him. �
��You never answered my question. Did you have fun?”

  “Yes,” Puck replied. “I had fun. Is it over now? The date?”

  “How is it possible that you still have sunscreen on your nose? Here,” he said, taking his thumb and rubbing it over Puck’s wrinkled up nose. “The date can be over, if you want it to be.”

  “Do you?”

  “Actually, before we call it done, there’s something I’ve been meaning to do ever since I saw you jumping out that window,” Jesse said, moving his hand to Puck’s cheek and stroking his warm skin with his thumb.

  “What?”

  “This,” he said, putting his lips on Puck’s. His lips tasted like salt, from the ocean and from the food. The smell of sunscreen was overwhelming him, but the feeling of Puck’s lovely lips on his, it was making him delirious. Jesse moved away and smiled at Puck.

  Puck touched his mouth with his fingertips. “What was that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “What you just did. What was it?”

  Jesse frowned. “I kissed you.”

  “Oh,” Puck said.

  “You’ve seen kissing before, right? Like on TV?”

  “Yes, I’ve seen it.”

  Jesse tried to get a read on him, but it was hard. He was still frowning with his fingers pressed to his lips. He wondered what could be going through his head at that moment. He didn’t know what a kiss was? How could he not know what a kiss was? Maybe he had scared him. That surprised him, considering that they’d already had sex, but it could happen. They hadn’t kissed then. It’d been purely physical. Whatever this was, it definitely wasn’t purely physical. Jesse rolled up the window and tried to focus on his breathing. He’d have to drive them home and pretend that nothing happened. Fuck! Now he’d have to face him every day and—

  “Do it again,” Puck said.

  Jesse smiled.

  CHAPTER TEN

  The Conjurer sat on the rock throne in the Great Hall of Minburry Citadel. Isocrice stood in front of her, a blue fire burning between them.

  “May I speak?” Isocrice asked, her voice thin.

  “You may,” The Conjurer whispered.