Jumpstart My Heart Read online

  BY LINA LANGLEY

  JUMPSTART MY HEART

  M/M GAY ROMANCE

  © 2017

  Lina Langley

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without express written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  This book is intended for adults only. It contains explicit sexual scenes and is not suitable for children.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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  BLURB

  Ever since his ex-boyfriend Caleb broke Devin Jacobs' heart with no explanation, his love life has been a wreck. Failed dates. Horrid men. That one guy with the chicken--it's no secret Devin's love life could use a tune-up. But the last person he wants throwing a wrench into his life is Caleb himself, when the irresistible mechanic comes waltzing back into Devin's world. His heart can't take another crash. His trust can't take another hit.

  But when Caleb's kiss ramps his pulse up to full speed, he might just shift gears into forgiveness and love when only Caleb's touch can jumpstart his heart.

  This story is approximately 14000 words in length and contains adult language & erotic adult scenes. It is intended for mature audiences.

  CHAPTER ONE

  I sat at the bar, trying to get over yet another online date which never materialized and nursing a margarita. Whoever said that online dating was simple was full of shit. It was nothing but ghosting, and people pretending that they liked you. They really didn’t.

  I took another sip. Oh well, guess it’s just yet another strikeout, I told myself, for maybe the sixth time. Better than the guy with the chicken.

  This made it five no-shows or terrible online dates in the last six months? I didn’t know why I kept trying. I didn’t even put myself out there that much, but it seemed like everyone but me was getting lucky.

  I sat there drinking my margarita, watching the people come in and out. There was a reason I had gone to a gay bar after my date had never shown up at the restaurant, but none of the men at Cowboys seemed all that interested in me. I didn’t really like them all that much either.

  Every single time this happened, my mind would wander back to the same person. It wasn’t the man who had not shown up to this date, or the one before that one. It was always him. It was fucking annoying. It had been years and I couldn’t get rid of him, of his shadow, of the fact that his memory followed me around like a stalker. He probably wasn’t the stalker, it was me. It had been so long since we had seen each other and my brain had made him into the one that got away. I took another sip of my margarita as I tried to forget him.

  And when he walked through the door, my body immediately stiffened. I thought my brain was playing tricks on me. It had been so long since we had seen each other and… there he was. As if I had fucking summoned him with the power of my imagination, as if he was going to walk through the door of a play called Cowboys without arranging it. We hadn’t run into each other for years and there he was.

  Caleb Dickson.

  An old fling from college, which felt like a far-off memory. The two of us hooked up back then when we were young and fucking stupid. He was one of the top players in school, and I was just a guy trying to get my research paper done so I didn’t end up losing my scholarship. But that had been a temporary thing. Everything about Caleb Dickson had been a temporary thing.

  Caleb had made sure of that. He and I almost had sex once, but shortly after, he had left me. He had hooked up with yet another guy in the school. I took that as a sign that he never was that into me, and that being with him was a shitty thing to want in the first place.

  It had been four years since I had come to that conclusion. The problem was, I couldn’t get rid of him. it felt like he had crawled into my skin and into my blood. I wanted to forget him, but it didn’t work. It never worked. When I saw him, after all this time, I felt both a flutter of excitement, and a need to punch this bastard in the face. When Caleb stepped into the club, of course it was with a guy in tow.

  I clenched my hands, holding them together. I had no claim over him. I knew it wasn’t as if we were together. This brought back old memories, painful ones. It was always like this. Caleb had a nefarious reputation for sleeping with everyone but me. When we first dated in college, we mostly just made out.

  I gave him head once, but when it came to actually sleeping together, I felt weird about it. It would have been my first time and I wanted it to be special. I really liked him, it just felt important to do it with someone I had feelings with. He seemed to respect it, but we broke up a few days later and then he started to sleep with all the other guys in the school. Now, a few years later, it felt like he was still pulling this shit. There was no way for me to know this. He might have been with the man for years—for all four years—but all I could remember was how he had dumped me for other guys. He moved toward the bar. I thought about leaving the bar, but I felt like I was frozen in place. I put my head in my hands.

  Of course, that did absolutely nothing to hide me from the obvious greeting that was to come, especially when his gaze caught me. I instantly moved my hands away from my face and put them on my lap, trying my best to look casual.

  “Devin?” Caleb Lester asked. I looked over at him, my messy brown hair an even bigger mess because I was playing with it. I pushed my glasses up a tiny bit, studying his blue eyes.

  “Oh, hi,” I said, smiling at him. “Caleb.”

  I said it blandly. He was the last person I wanted to see, but I wasn’t rude enough to not greet him.

  “Long time no see.”

  Caleb nodded, his gaze right on me. I couldn’t help but stare at the man that was next to him. Caleb smiled at me, his eyes shimmering. “Oh, this is Franky.”

  I raised my eyebrows.

  Caleb’s smile turned into a grin. “We just met.”

  And a new guy you’ll be sleeping with. For me, that was the first thought I had. I looked over at him, flashing him a smile. “Well, good for you,” I said.

  Caleb was eyeing the stool next to me. I wondered if he was going to sit down. I was hoping he didn’t. He made a move for it. I couldn’t let him do it. This was all too much. It was bringing too many memories back, memories I tried hard to forget. “What is it that you want?” I asked

  He smirked at me. “Oh, just came to say hi,” he said, his eyes glimmering. “I mean, I haven’t seen you since college. What have you been up to?”

  “I’m a researcher at one of the local labs,” I replied, as if he was actually interested. “I test various strains of bacteria and find out if they’re cancerous or not.”

  “Shit, you’re still smart as ever,” Caleb said. He was holding onto the bar, but he was still not holding on the stool.

  “It’s just a job, Caleb,” he said.

  “Always so humble,” Caleb said. “I just work as a mechanic. Gives me a lot of free time.”

  “I imagine,” I muttered, still staring at the guy by his side. Franky was a standard
regulation hottie, so of course he would be hanging around Caleb. I couldn’t blame him. Despite how angry I was at him, I couldn’t help but notice how attractive he still was. He had somehow managed to get hotter since college.

  Caleb had long, flowy blonde hair that he always had tied up, beautiful ocean-blue eyes that were hypnotizing, and a banging body that I remember seeing quite a bit, even if it was just in passing. He was muscular, strong, and all of the dudes that knew he was out loved him. Girls would flock to him too, but I didn’t think he was interested.

  “Yeah,” Caleb said, a bitter note in his voice. I wasn’t trying to push him away by being rude, so I decided I would quiet down.

  It was him who spoke again. I noticed Franky checking his phone next to him. Caleb didn’t seem to care. “So you’re in the area still. It really has been a while,” he said. “Meet anyone you like?”

  “Nope,” I replied. “I’ve been busy with work.”

  “I imagine,” he said, leaning forward so he could talk into my ear. “I mean, I’ve been trying to find someone myself, but it’s been a flock of bad tinder dates and shit.”

  “So who’s the dude with you?” I said, furrowing my brow and looking at Franky. Immediately, Caleb looked over at Franky too and his eyes widened.

  “Oh yeah,” he said quietly. “He’s with me. I guess we’re out together.”

  I shook my head. “You’re on a date?”

  “I mean—”

  “And you’re complaining about how bad dates are? Do they go up to talk to their exes without introducing them normally?”

  “They don’t,” Franky said, winking at me. He turned to look at Caleb. “Listen, babe, you sort out your love life then call me. You boys get messy, okay?”

  With that, he turned on his heel and started to move away from them. I watched him, my mouth half-open. I didn’t know how he could act like this was all okay when it was clear Caleb was being a dick to him in exactly the same way he had been a dick to me. It was clear he hadn’t changed at all.

  Caleb watched him walk away and then turned to me with a big smile on his face. “Guess that’s taken care of,” he said quietly.

  I scoffed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” I mumbled as my reply.

  He finally took the stool next to me. He patted my hand, sending electrical signals all up my body. “Everything is okay,” he said. “You believe in destiny?”

  “Are you joking right now?”

  He shook his head. “No,” he said. “Why? What’s going on?”

  “What’s going on is that you’re on a date with someone but have the nerve to talk to me. I guess you’re still the same person,” I said, unable to keep containing myself. I knew it wasn’t my place and that it was uncalled for, but he kept pushing me, and I didn’t know how long I could keep containing myself.

  “It’s not like that,” he said quietly. When I looked at him, he wouldn’t meet my gaze. He totally was. What the fuck, I thought to myself. I motioned for the bartender to come over. “Hey, I’ll be leaving now. Put it on my tab.”

  “But Devin, we—”

  “Listen, Caleb,” I said as I got up from the stool. “I’m not interested in rekindling whatever it is we had.”

  “Damn,” Caleb replied. “Since when are you so hostile?”

  I smiled at him. “I was always hostile,” he said. “Just not to you.”

  “Ah, so I changed things,” Caleb said with a dazzling smile. I wanted to punch him in the face. I don’t know if it was the bad date, the fact that I was on my third or fourth margarita or seeing Caleb again with a guy who didn’t even seem to care about the fact that Caleb was more interested in me than he was in him. “What do I have to do to get there again?”

  “Seriously, Caleb, leave me alone,” I said. Suddenly I felt like I was going to cry. I didn’t want to cry in front of this man I barely knew anymore, but my alcohol tolerance was low and he was bringing up things I didn’t even know I could still feel.

  “Why are you upset?” Caleb asked.

  I shook my head. “Bad date,” he said. “Bad memories.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No,” I said. “Not at all.” I was getting ready to head out, when I felt something slip into my pocket. I was about to turn around and glare when he spoke.

  “That wasn’t really a date,” he said. “I just took him out. If you want to contact me again, you totally can.”

  His hand barely grazed my skin through the fabric of my jeans. It sent a shiver up my spine. “I’ll think about it,” I muttered.

  He didn’t really want me, right? I couldn’t know for sure, but experience made me believe otherwise. I was so confused, especially since he had wanted nothing more than to play with my feelings, and who the hell knew if this was going to be the same thing again.

  I needed to get out of there and think about what to do next.

  CHAPTER TWO

  I went home to my apartment which was a decently-sized one. I thought about what Caleb said. That bastard was totally playing with me, right? Ugh, why did he have the nerve to give me his number?

  A part of me thought that it was done out of pity, because I was alone, and I kept striking out with every date that I was on. I always felt so… boring compared to others and I hated that it was the case. It bothered me so much. There was always that part of me that wondered if I should just give up. I had his number, though, and I guess fate was in my hands.

  I decided to wait until the next day before calling him. After all, he was probably sleeping with that guy who he definitely wasn’t on a date with right then. I tried to not let the jealousy get to me, but every time I thought about how he just up and left me for others, it all started to put me in a sour mood.

  There was no way for me to know whether he had changed. I supposed the only thing I could do was try to find out. I couldn’t get rid of him, no matter how hard I tried. Maybe I needed to see him again, to really get it into my head we couldn’t be together. I felt weird contacting him, but after my work shift the next day, I decided to bite the bullet. The worst that could happen, I suppose, was just that he wasn’t interested. If so, I could move on with my life, and he wouldn’t feel like such a heavy burden all the time. Maybe it would be good to get rid of him like this.

  I dialed the number, anxiety coursing through my body. I was never the type to initiate this sort of thing, even though technically he was the one who brought it up. After about two rings, I heard his familiar voice. “Hello?”

  “Hi,” I said. “Caleb, it’s Devin. Devin Jacobs. You gave me your number last night.”

  “Oh, I definitely remember,” he teased.

  I hated that this guy got under my skin, and I hated it even more that he managed to get a blush out of me. “Anyway,” I said. “I’m calling because you said you wanted to see me again? You know, for a date. I’m not interested in—”

  “I do want to see you, Devin,” he said. “It’s been a long time, and I wanted to catch up in a proper manner. If you’d like, I’ll take you out for dinner on Friday. How does that sound?”

  I thought about it. This was the way to get over him, I told myself. “Fine. I’ll bite.”

  “Perfect,” Caleb replied. I could hear the smile in his voice. “We can meet up at your work, or you can come to mine.”

  “You know where I work?”

  “No, I was hoping you could tell me,” he said with a giggle.

  I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling too, despite myself. “My place requires a keycard to enter, so I’ll just meet at yours.”

  “Great. I’ll send you the address,” he replied.

  I hung up, sighing as I felt my anxiety start to form in my body. What could I say to him? I doubted he wanted anything more than just catching up. He was still an extremely hot guy, and super confident too. I didn’t have anything he couldn’t get elsewhere, I thought. Then I
shook my head. No, I wasn’t going to let him get to me. Not yet.

  I went out shopping for something nice to wear. It wasn’t like it was a date or anything, but I decided that maybe, just maybe, I should try to impress. When Friday came around, I drove over to where Caleb wanted to meet up. When I got there, all I saw were cars. They dotted the entire area. I immediately gulped, feeling apprehensive.

  The guys working in the garage looked at me like I was out of place the second I stepped out, meekly walking over to the counter.

  “Is Caleb here?” I asked the guy working the counter.

  “Yeah. He’s finishing up. Why, you a friend?” the guy replied.

  “Yeah,” I said. When they kept looking at me, because I was clearly dressed for a date, I decided it might be best to clarify. I didn’t want to accidentally out him at work. “He’s a friend of mine from college. We’re going to catch up.”

  One of the men who was staring at me nodded sagely. “Good for you,” he said. “Honestly, the guy needs more friends. He doesn’t show it, but he definitely a loner.”

  That’s not how he was in college, I thought. He was always surrounded by friends, and it seemed pretty easy for him to get a date. This guy could have been lying, but there was no way for me to know.

  “Thank you,” I said. “I’m excited. It’s been a while.”

  After a bit, he finally came out of the shop. I watched as he walked right over to me. There was an awkward moment when he didn’t do anything. I thought he was going to hug me, but he settled for patting me on the back. “Find the place alright?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I mean, I almost drove past. This garage is very nice.”

  “Nice, huh?” he replied with a smile.

  “For someone like you,” I said.

  He chuckled, shaking his head. “You don’t have to be a dick,” he replied, a smile on his lips. “Hey, you might work in a shitty lab, but I work in a good garage. So technically, I’m the more successful one.”