Maxx Neon Read online

  “You’re so gorgeous,” Eli said. “I loved the way that you looked when we were in bed. And your cock…”

  He didn’t say anything else. He wrapped his lips around Eli’s cock and moved his head back and forth, slowly at first, then speeding up more and more. He was good at this, Max thought abstractedly, then Eli started to speed up more and more, holding his balls in his hands just tightly enough to heighten the sensation. Max had been thinking about this all day and all the longing looks toward Eli’s body came to a head as Eli opened his eyes and locked his gaze with Max’s.

  Max threaded his fingers through Eli’s hair as Eli moved his head back and forth, those sparkling eyes locked on Max’s gaze throughout. Soon, Max was coming into his mouth, announcing it with little more than a whimper. Eli slowed down his movement as the pleasured rolled over Max’s entire body.

  Eli stayed there, though, his mouth wrapped around Max’s cock as he came, his hand slack on Eli’s head. He didn’t want Eli to do anything that he didn’t want to do. Eli wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up with Max’s help.

  “Sorry,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to do that all day.”

  “No, don’t be,” Max said. He kissed Eli on the mouth, their kisses deep. He could taste himself on Eli and he was getting turned on again. His cock would have been hard in a second if he hadn’t literally just come. “That was amazing.”

  Eli smiled. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

  “It’s time I return the favor, isn’t it?”

  Eli’s eyes widened. “No.”

  Max furrowed his brow, cocking his head. He was sure that he had heard Eli wrong. “Sorry, what?”

  “No, you can’t stay.”

  “Eli—”

  “I’m sorry,” Eli said. “Bringing you up here was a mistake. I shouldn’t have—”

  “What are you doing?” Max said. He averted his eyes from Eli’s crotch, which he had been looking at hungrily. “I can see that you want me to stay.”

  Eli scoffed. “Fuck off, Max. You know it’s not about that.”

  Max swallowed. “I’ll leave your house if you really want me to.”

  “I really want you to,” Eli said.

  Max nodded. “Okay,” he said. He turned around to walk out, looking back only once, then slammed the door on his way out.

  Chapter Five

  Max didn’t feel like making conversation with his driver, though he did ask him if he was okay when he climbed back into the van.

  He wasn’t okay. His hands were sweating. He felt a little sick to his stomach. He didn’t understand why he felt so awful, but part of him thought that it had to do with Eli kicking him out after he had sucked him off. If they had at least not done anything then Max thought that this might have been a little easier.

  He didn’t need to do that, Max thought bitterly. Talk about getting someone’s hopes up. He leaned back on the seat and closed his eyes, replaying the day in his head, wondering when exactly it had gone wrong. He wasn’t sure, but he thought it was at some point during the fair. It didn’t matter how many times he thought about it. He couldn’t pinpoint a particular moment where everything had gone wrong. All that he could remember when he closed his eyes was Eli kicking him out of his house. His mouth was dry, and his head was throbbing when he got back to the hotel. Lara was waiting for him at the lobby, but he didn’t want to talk to her. What he wanted clearly didn’t matter though because she stopped him anyway, right outside of the elevator.

  She didn’t look angry, she mostly looked worried. But Max didn’t have any time for her worries right then. He thought that he might start screaming at her if she started to question him.

  “What is it?” He said. “Is something wrong?”

  “No,” Lara said. “Nothing is wrong.”

  “What is it?”

  Lara cocked her head. “Where have you been?”

  Max bit the inside of his cheek as he smashed the call button for the elevator. “I had the day off.”

  “I know, but normally spend your days off in your room or with the rest of the band.”

  Max turned away from her, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “I called you. I told you I needed a car, I don’t understand why you were worried.”

  From the corner of his eye, she could see her shut her eyes tightly. She then composed her face into an expression that didn’t betray how annoyed she was with him. They rarely fought with each other and Lara always understood that she worked for him, not the other way around, but it wasn’t as if it had never happened. “I wasn’t worried exactly. I’m just concerned because this person you ended up hanging out with today, do you know him?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t mean anything.”

  “For God’s sake, Lara. Spit it out.”

  “Well, you know, people can betray your trust.”

  He trained his gaze on her. “Lara, I can take care of myself.”

  “I know,” she replied. “But here’s the thing, Max. I care about you. You’re my friend. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I know,” Max said, softening as he looked at her. “And I know it’s your job to look after my professional reputation.”

  “It is,” Lara said. The elevator beeped as it arrived, both doors opening. They walked in together. “You weren’t being particularly discreet.”

  “I’m not ashamed of who I am,” he said, anger bubbling up inside him again.

  “No, no, I know,” Lara said. “And you shouldn’t be. But I am worried about him. About what he’s going to say to the press.”

  “What could he say? We had good sex. Neither one of us is in a relationship. How dare we?”

  Lara sighed. “I think you’re underestimating how famous you are.”

  “And I think you’re overestimating how much people care about me,” Max said. “Or how much people want to hurt me.”

  He didn’t mean people, he meant Eli. He didn’t think that Eli would hurt him, but he didn’t know him. Eli had kicked him out of his apartment after it felt to Max like they were going to have another night like the night before. He didn’t think that Eli was going to kick him out, which was just another thing that went to prove just how little he did know Eli.

  He didn’t know him at all.

  “I think I’m going to have an early night,” Max said.

  “Would you like some company?”

  Max sighed. “I don’t think I’m going to be good company.”

  “I don’t care about you being good company.”

  Max closed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m being such a baby about this.”

  “It’s okay,” Lara said.

  “Do you want to hit the tub later? It has jets.”

  “For your back? That sounds good.”

  “I’m struggling here,” Max said. “I got way ahead of myself with someone that didn’t seem to feel the same way. Because of one night, y’know? And one night is only one night. I’m not an idiot.”

  “You’re also a human being,” Lara said. “You’re allowed to feel hopeful.”

  “I don’t know what it was,” Max said, shaking his head. “I don’t know why there was something about him that made me think that we might have a future together. Because we couldn’t.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know,” Max replied. “But it’s what I wanted and I wish I could figure out why.”

  “This is a lonely life.”

  “I know,” Max said. “But it’s not just because I’m lonely. I mean, that might be part of it, I’m not going to lie. But the sex was…”

  “What?”

  “Incredible, Lara,” Max replied. “Better than the sex I used to have with Dan.”

  “Wow.”

  “Right,” Max said. “And it was the first time we ever had sex with each other.”

  “That sounds… intense.”

  Max nodded. “Can I ask you something?”


  “Sure.”

  “You and Thomas… you’ve been together forever, right?”

  “Yes,” Lara said. “Since we were seventeen.”

  The elevator beeped once again as they arrived to Max’s floor. They stepped out together and walked shoulder to shoulder as Max thought of what to say next.

  “How do you do it?”

  “What, exactly? Not kill each other?”

  Max smiled. They got to his door and Max fished the keycard out of his pocket. He opened the door and went inside his room. The room had been cleaned up when Max wasn’t there and it looked completely different than when we had left in the morning. With Eli, he thought. He looked around the room and sat on the bottom of the bed, where Lara joined him.

  Max leaned forward, burying his head in his hands and taking a deep breath. Lara put her hand on his shoulder then squeezed it. Max wanted to smile at her but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, he couldn’t bring himself to make her think that he was alright.

  She stopped touching him. “Is this yours? I’ve never seen it before.”

  Max opened his eyes. “Is what mine?”

  She was standing by the one chair next to the bed. He looked at it. There was a jacket wrapped around the chair, one which Max had never seen before.

  “This,” she said, grabbing the jacket.

  Max stood up, walking over to her. He grabbed the jacket and resisted the urge to smell it. It was a simple black jacket, with a side zipper. “No,” he said. “It’s not mine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before.”

  “It must be his.”

  “It must be,” Max said.

  “Maybe you could give it back?” Lara asked.

  “No,” Max said. “Eli made it better clear that I wasn’t welcome in his apartment.”

  “In his apartment? That doesn’t mean in his life.”

  “It might as well have,” Max replied. “He was very clear that he didn’t want me around.”

  “Oh, Max, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” Max said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It’s going to be a process. I know where he lives. Do you think we can get this mailed over to him?”

  “Sure,” she said. “If that’s what you want.”

  “I don’t think I can bear seeing him again.”

  “Oh, Max.”

  “I’ll get over it,” Max said. “I know. I’m being a baby.”

  “Believe it or not, I understand.”

  “I don’t believe it,” he said. “Thomas and you have been together forever. How did you know he was the one?”

  Lara shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t think I ever knew that he was the one. We had our troubles, but I think the part that makes you think that he’s the one is that you’re going to try and do your best to make it work. Even when you feel like killing each other.”

  “Right.”

  “With us, it’s hard,” she said. “Because I’m on the road so often and his career is so difficult. But he’s one of the good ones. He works just as hard as I do.”

  “I know,” Max said. He tried for a smile. It felt like the corners of his mouth weren’t moving at his command, though. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

  “Happiness isn’t just a good night, Max,” she said. “It’s a lot of hard work. And you need to find someone that is just as willing to work for that happiness as you are. Someone who is worth all your effort.”

  “And this isn’t him.”

  “Not if he’s kicking you out of his apartment,” Lara said.

  “Yes. You’re right,” Max said, trying to convince himself more than her. “I think you’re right.”

  Chapter Six

  The tub did make him feel better, but not that much better. His back wasn’t in pain, for a change, but it felt like his heart was breaking. But it wasn’t just that. His body felt like it was protesting against everything that he did, whether it was hanging out with his band mates or packing up. He had a personal assistant who was happy to pack for him, but he wanted to stay busy. He had hardly slept over the past few days. They were due to depart Sierra on Wednesday. He had been informed where his next gigs would be more than once, but he couldn’t remember any of them. He could hardly remember his own name.

  The lack of sleep didn’t help. He was always moodier when he didn’t have enough sleep and he had only managed to sleep for a couple of hours each night. He was struggling with thinking about Eli, which was ridiculous. Lara had informed him that his jacket had been delivered to him.

  He was at the poolside with his drummer, William. He was only at the pool because swimming helped his back. There was also the fact that he didn’t want to leave the hotel at all if he could help it. He was in a foul mood and he didn’t want people to come up to him and get this version of him, especially if they were fans. He needed to be on his best behavior around them. He had to be. They were the people that allowed him to make a living and he was sure that he was going to be pissed off if anyone asked him for an autograph.

  He got up to walk to the pool, just to put his feet over the edge, but before he got there, he felt dizzy and unsteady, like he wasn’t able to be on his feet any longer. He tried to catch himself but he was soon falling to the floor, the weight of his own body too much for him to manage. He managed to turn his face away from the tile so that his teeth or nose didn’t land first. He still twisted his arm up a little bit, but he only thought about it for a few seconds before his eyelids got too heavy and he couldn’t think about the tile anymore.

  He woke up later on in his bed, or rather, in the bed of his hotel. William and Lara were both next to him, talking quietly enough that Max couldn’t hear them. When he woke up, his head was throbbing and he felt a little nauseous.

  “What’s going on?” He said, his mouth dry.

  Lara’s eyes widened. “You’re awake.”

  He tried to nod, but he wasn’t able to. Everything felt stiff, like he wasn’t able to move at all. He wanted to tell her that he was okay.

  “I called your mother,” Lara said.

  Max managed to groan.

  “She’s worried about you,” Lara said.

  “Because you told her I fainted,” Max said, his voice quiet and difficult.

  “The doctor is here,” Lara said. “She wants to see you. She thinks you should go to the hospital.”

  Max groaned. “I’m fine,” he said. “I just got up too quickly.”

  “Maybe,” she said. “But maybe it’s more than that. Your job is emotionally exhausting enough, Max. It’s exhausting full stop. We don’t want you to drop dead suddenly.”

  Max smiled dryly. “Well, now I’m worried. Where’s the doctor?”

  “Downstairs,” Lara said. “She’s coming up now.”

  “Great.”

  Lara kept reassuring him for a little while until the doctor came upstairs. Max barely noticed her. His gaze was having a hard time settling on the doctor’s face and he could hardly tell her what had happened, but Lara and William seemed to take care of the rest. The doctor gave him a painkiller and a sedative for the time being.

  When Max woke up, it was dark. His back was fine and there was no one in his room. Without caring very much about what time it was, he punched the contact card with Lara’s face on it. She didn’t pick up, but soon she was at his door, opening it with a keycard that Max didn’t even know she had.

  “What’s the diagnosis? The doctor didn’t tell me,” Max said without even greeting her.

  “She did,” Lara replied. “Don’t you remember?”

  “No,” Max said. “I have a vague memory of her talking to me. But not much else.”

  Lara sighed. “You’re exhausted.”

  “No, I’ve just slept, I’m fine.”

  “No, I don’t mean that,” Lara said, smiling. “I mean, that’s your diagnosis. You’re exhausted.”

  “What? I didn’t know that was a diagnosis,” Max said. “I thought that’s what everyone said because the
y were caught doing drugs.”

  “It is,” Lara said, sitting down on the bed next to him. “It can be. But not this time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You can’t faint on stage,” Lara said. “I cancelled everything for the next weekend so we can stay here.”

  “Oh, no,”

  “She’ll keep checking on you,” Lara said. “For the time being, you’re supposed to keep resting. Stay off your feet. When is the last time that you slept?”

  “A couple of hours ago?”

  “That you slept without the aid of a doctor,” Lara said. “Or without having sex first.”

  Max sighed. “I don’t know.”

  “You need to take care of yourself, Max,” she said. “You need to sleep.”

  “I know.”

  “And you can’t be on your feet all the time.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s okay when you’re on stage but—”

  “Stop it,” he said, smiling at her and squeezing her hand. “I know. Is my mom going to come see me?”

  “Oh, yes,” Lara said. “She’s very worried about you.”

  “Great.”

  “Oh, relax,” she said. “She’s not that bad.”

  “To you! She’s going to bake me a pie every day. Mark is going to hate her.”

  “Mark doesn’t care what you eat as long as you stay buff,” Lara said. “That is his job, isn’t it?”

  “Ugh,” Max said, rolling his eyes. He went to grab his phone off his nightstand, but before he could, she grabbed it out of his hands.

  “I wouldn’t,” she said. “It’s just going to stress you out.”

  “I wasn’t going to check the news,” Max replied. “I was just going to check my social media accounts.”

  “Yeah, I’m definitely not letting you do that.”

  Max watched her.

  “You just need to relax.”

  Max narrowed his eyes, cocking his head. “What are you hiding?”

  “It’s not going to help.”

  “Stop it,” Max said. “Give me back my phone.”

  Lara sighed, depositing the phone back in his hands. “It’s your funeral.”

  Max opened his lock screen to check his accounts, his eyes widening when he saw how many notifications he had. He was trending. It had happened a couple of times before, but there had always been some sort of triggering event to make sure that his name was up there. He wasn’t sure what could have caused this, but he was almost completely sure that it wasn’t good.