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  “This isn’t a good idea,” he said. “We can’t keep seeing each other.”

  “Because you don’t need me anymore,” Ethan said.

  “Yes,” Max replied, matter-of-factly. “And that makes me less okay with what you need me for.”

  Ethan shook his head. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that I’m okay with being a stand-in for someone that’s gone if I’m getting something out of it,” Max said. “But right now, well… the only thing I’d get out of it is you.”

  “And that’s a problem,” Ethan said. He was trying to laugh, but it wasn’t happening.

  “Yes,” he said. “Because I like you a lot. I can’t do this.”

  “Max…” Ethan said. He was surprised at the supplicant tone in his voice, at how upset he was by the idea that he would never get to see Max again.

  “Sorry, darling,” Max said. “Nothing personal. Just wrong place, wrong time, right? I’ll see you around.”

  Ethan opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Max had ended the call.

  ***

  “We should get married,” Ethan had said. Alois had his head on Ethan’s lap, reading a book, while Ethan was half-watching a movie and playing with Alois’ long hair.

  Alois had laughed. “Is that a proposal?”

  “No,” Ethan had said, furrowing his brow and looking down at Alois. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “That was shit, Ethan,” Alois had said. “If you’re going to propose, I expect you to do it properly.”

  “Properly, huh?”

  “Yes,” Alois had replied. “With the appropriate pomp and circumstance.”

  “I never realized you were such a gold digger, babe,” Ethan had replied as Alois had sat up and kissed him on the mouth.

  “You know me,” Alois had said. “I need that sweet cash before I settle down.”

  “Fair enough,” Ethan said. “And if I propose, are you going to say yes?”

  Alois had laughed. “Now that would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?”

  ***

  Ethan thought about turning the car around several times, but as he got closer and closer to his sister’s apartment, he continued to steel himself. He was going to go in there and demand answers. Kelsey had already taken so much from him. Now it felt like he had endeavored to take the little bit of happiness he had managed to get back into his life.

  Ethan doubted it was personal, but it still felt intensely personal. It felt like something, in any case, and it had been a long time since anything had felt like something to Ethan.

  He hadn’t remembered just how much he liked it until it was happening. The prospect of losing Max, as weird as their relationship was, made Ethan feel a little bit of panic. Okay, more than a little bit of panic.

  More panic than he wanted to admit.

  Kelsey had already attempted to ruin his sister’s life and Ethan wasn’t going to let him do the same thing to him. He parked on the street and started to walk upstairs, ready to tear into Kelsey. He knocked on the door, loudly, and was bracing himself to shout when he saw who had opened the door.

  “Uncle Ethan!” his niece said, her long brown her up in a bun. “Mom didn’t say we were expecting you.”

  Ethan fisted his hands at his sides. He certainly couldn’t do anything with his niece there. She had nothing to do with any of this shit.

  “Hey, Ava,” he said, hugging her. “No, it’s a surprise. Are your parents home?”

  Ava shook her head. “No,” she said. “They’re at some sort of political luncheon. I’m supposed to be holding down the fort.”

  “Aren’t you a little young?”

  “I’m thirteen,” she protested with a pout.

  “Okay, okay, my bad,” he said as he walked in. “Well, I came to talk to your parents, but I guess can wait for them. Did they leave you food?”

  “They did,” Ava said. “But I don’t know…”

  Ethan shook his head. “We’ll order in,” he said. “And watch some Netflix movies. How does that sound?”

  “I have homework,” Ava said.

  “Great,” Ethan replied, smiling at her. “Then I’ll help you with it after the movie. Okay?”

  Ava smiled at him. “Okay,” she said. “That sounds good.”

  A couple of hours later, Rosemary and Kelsey walked through the door. Ethan was busy cleaning the kitchen and Ava was on the kitchen island, getting through the last of her homework. Rosemary and Kelsey were laughing as if everything was normal, as if the two of them still had that loving marriage Ethan had admired so much when he was just out of college.

  They both stopped when they saw him. His gaze darted between Rosemary and Kelsey. He wasn’t sure who he was supposed to start with and it seemed like his throw punches first ask questions later approach wasn’t going to work with his impressionable young niece there.

  “Hey,” he said, trying his best to make his voice sound neutral. “I hope you don’t mind the surprise visit.”

  Rosemary smiled at him. “No,” she said. “You’re always welcome here.”

  Ethan looked at Kelsey, but he hadn’t said anything. The man was twice Ethan’s size, corpulent, robust, with thick black hair and eyebrows to match. He was as scary as he was good-looking.

  At least he had been, Ethan thought, before everything about what he had done had come out.

  “Can I talk to you?” Ethan heard himself saying.

  Rosemary glanced at them, but she didn’t say anything.

  Kelsey nodded, rather curtly, and Ethan followed him until they got to his office. He noticed that Kelsey hadn’t said anything, even as he closed the door behind him. He crossed his arms before Ethan started to talk to him, a smile spreading on his face. “I can guess why you’re here.”

  Ethan watched him, saying nothing. Kelsey glanced at the wine glass Ethan had in his hand, the one he picked up as he had walked away from the sink.

  “I see you made yourself comfortable,” Kelsey continued.

  “I was looking after your child,” Ethan said. “Which you could have easily asked me to do, but you decided to leave her alone instead.”

  Kelsey glared at him. “We were only gone a few hours,” he said. “Ava can easily take care of herself.”

  “Well, I still want to see my niece,” Ethan said, more to himself than to Kelsey.

  Kelsey scoffed. “That’s not true,” he said. “If you had wanted to see Ava, you would have. All these years—”

  “That’s not fair,” Ethan said. “You know that’s not fair.”

  Kelsey rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Your sister needed you, Ethan,” she said. “When everything happened. You abandoned her and—”

  “I abandoned her?” Ethan said, his voice so loud it almost made him wince. “You were supposed to look after her while I was dealing with my own shit, Kelsey. I couldn’t even get out of bed, and then we find out you’re sleeping with a bunch of prostitutes behind her back?”

  “Ethan—”

  “I wanted to be there for her,” Ethan said, tears welling up in his eyes. “But I could hardly get out of bed. And you, you think you’re our savior, right? You think your daughter doesn’t notice. You think your wife isn’t hurt. You think we’ll all just get over it and be one big happy family, but you broke us.”

  Kelsey’s eyes narrowed. “You might want to blame me all you want, Ethan, but I didn’t break you.”

  Ethan opened his mouth to answer, but Kelsey waved his hand in front of his face.

  “And yes, I made a mistake—”

  “A mistake?”

  “One I’ve paid dearly for,” Kelsey continued. “I’ve been to therapy, Ethan, I’ve dealt with my shit. Every single day, I try to make things up to my wife and daughter. And by the way, before you ask, yes, Max Walker was an attempt to make things right with my wife.”

  “What?”

  “She was so worried about you,” Kelsey said. “She kept saying that we should find
you someone. She worries more about you than she does about me, Ethan.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “I know,” Kelsey said. “I told her you weren’t good enough. Then Max Walker called me to tell me he wanted to drop out and I knew it had to be you. Now you’re trying to worm your way back into Rosemary’s life and I—”

  Ethan felt like everything had become dull and gray around him, like everything had lost all its color. “What?”

  Kelsey chuckled. “Rosemary might not notice, Ethan, but I’ve always been able to tell when you’re being a manipulative asshole,” he said. “Alois made you better, but then—”

  “Don’t you fucking dare say his name,” Ethan said. He hadn’t realized that he had crossed the space between them and was holding his brother-in-law by the scruff of his neck, pushing him up against the wall of his little office.

  Kelsey was smirking at him. He didn’t have to say anything, Ethan could see the smug look in his eyes, the way he seemed to think that Ethan had just proven him right.

  Ethan let go of him, his hand moving away from Kelsey’s shirt quickly, like he had just burned him. Kelsey stared at him. “Get out of my house, Ethan,” Kelsey said, slowly, quietly.

  Ethan swallowed. He nodded and turned around to open the door, trying to ignore how dizzy he felt.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  He called Max when he started up the car. He knew he should have probably waited, but he needed to know exactly what had happened, and he didn’t know if he could wait.

  Ethan waited for the phone to ring for a few seconds. “Hello?”

  “Hello,” Ethan said. “Max, can you talk?”

  “Um, sure,” Max replied. Ethan could hear him walking away from something.

  “No,” Ethan said. “Can you meet up and talk somewhere?”

  Max didn’t answer for a few seconds. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “It’s just a talk, Max,” Ethan said. “I’ll go to you.”

  Max sighed, seemingly resigned. “Fine,” he said. “But make it quick, okay?”

  “Fine,” Ethan said. “Tell me your address. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

  Ethan didn’t have to drive far to get to Max’s place, though it was in one of the suburbs of the city. He supposed he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was when he pulled up to a beautiful white two-story colonial surrounded by a tall black fence and a swing gate.

  It opened when his car pulled up, which surprised him. He parked in front of the house, right next to the porch, behind the car that had picked him up when they had gone on their first date. As he killed the ignition, he took a second to look up at the house.

  That had only been a couple of days ago, but already everything felt like it had changed, like his life before meeting Max was fading. It was weird, and now that he was sitting there leaning back on the driver seat, he wasn’t sure how much he liked it.

  He was thinking about it when he heard someone open the door. Max was wearing jeans a white button-up shirt. His hair made it look like he had just gotten out of bed.

  The two exchanged a significant look before Ethan took the handle and stepped out of the car. He took a deep breath as he started to walk toward Max, who was still standing on his porch, looking up and down at him. He wasn’t saying anything.

  Ethan waited for a few seconds as Max looked at him. They stood there, just staring at each other, neither one of them saying a thing. Ethan wanted to ask him for an explanation, but now that he was there, he wasn’t sure what he had driven there for.

  Max was the first one to move. He started to approach Ethan, looking right at Ethan as he walked toward him. Max reached out and grabbed his hand. “Hey,” he said. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

  Even as he spoke, even as he looked into Ethan’s eyes, even as he squeezed his hand and Ethan felt his fingers around his hand, Ethan could feel the hesitation in the way Max was looking at him, in the way his voice wavered.

  “I need to talk to you,” Ethan said.

  Max cocked his head. “Why?”

  “Because I do,” Ethan said. “Because this is important.”

  “You barely know me,” Max said, more to himself than to Ethan.

  “I know,” Ethan said. “Which is why I wanted to talk to you about this. If I could figure out… If I had been able to figure out why you did what you did, then I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t need to be here. But I really have to know why you did what you did.”

  “I told you—”

  “No,” Ethan said. “Don’t lie to me. I went to see Kelsey…”

  Max furrowed his brow when Ethan trailed off. “You went to see the governor?”

  “I wanted to understand,” Ethan said. “And we had a different score to settle.”

  Max watched him. “Your sister,” he said. It wasn’t really a question.

  “You know?”

  Max nodded. “It’s hard not to,” he said. “You know, when you want to be a politician.”

  “Or when you can read,” Ethan replied quietly. He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning back on his car. Being with Max wasn’t helping him escape the drama of his family at all. He had been selfish to only think about what he could get out of being with Max.

  Max sighed. He seemed defeated. “Come in,” he said. “Let’s have a drink and talk this over.”

  “Our last drink,” Ethan said. It was supposed to be a joke, but it sounded bitter on his tongue. Max didn’t laugh.

  Ethan followed him as they walked toward the house. Max stopped for a second before he opened the door. He looked back at Ethan, who raised his eyebrows. He wondered if Max would explain why he was hesitating, but Max didn’t say anything. He just pushed the door open.

  Ethan walked into a beautiful grand foyer with spiraling staircases on each side of the room. He didn’t have much time to take it in as he followed Max into the living room, an open plan room with a gorgeous chaise lounge. Max sat down on one of the individual recliners and Ethan followed, sitting so he would be able to look right at Max.

  They were far away from each other. Ethan couldn’t help but draw the comparison to when he had first gone to the grief counselor, just how far away she had been from him. Max was staring at him, clearly waiting for him to say something, but Ethan hadn’t been able to bring himself to say anything.

  Max shuffled in his seat. “Do you want that drink or—”

  “No,” Ethan said. “No, I… I just want to ask you something, okay?”

  Max nodded. “Sure,” he said.

  “Kelsey said you dropped out,” Ethan finally said, his voice thin “But you told me he wasn’t going to endorse you. You lied to me.”

  “No,” he said. “I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t tell you the entire truth.”

  “And that’s better than lying?”

  Max furrowed his brow. He regarded Ethan for what felt to Ethan like a very long time before he spoke. “I don’t owe you anything,” Max said. “Not even the truth.”

  “I know,” Ethan replied. “I get that.”

  “And yet you are here.”

  “And you haven’t kicked me out,” Ethan said. “You gave me your address. If you didn’t want me to be here, I didn’t have to be.”

  Max nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s true.”

  “But I’m here,” Ethan said. “So I can’t help but feel that you want to answer my questions.”

  Max watched him. “But you haven’t asked me anything yet.”

  “Yeah,” Ethan said, shifting his weight. “Yes. I’m getting to it. It’s just, the more the words move around in my head, the less sense they seem to make.”

  “Just tell me,” Max replied. “You’re building up in your head.”

  Ethan took a deep breath. When he spoke, he wasn’t able to look at Max in the eyes. “Did you drop out of the race because of me?”

  Max was quiet until Ethan looked at him. When he saw Ethan, he shook his head, but only slig
htly. “No,” he said.

  Ethan watched him.

  “I mean, not entirely,” he said. “You were part of it.”

  Ethan swallowed, trying his best to ignore the knot in his throat. “I was?”

  “Yes,” Max said. “I didn’t want to use you—”

  “And you didn’t want me to use you either,” Ethan said, matter-of-factly.

  “Yes,” Max replied, his gaze darting away from Ethan. “Which is weird, because most of the time, I wouldn’t care at all.”

  Ethan licked his lips. “Why do you?”

  Max shook his head. “Beats me,” he said.

  “You could find someone else,” Ethan said. “You only need a fake boyfriend to help you win the election.”

  Max nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “I only need a fake boyfriend. The problem is, I don’t want one.”

  Ethan chuckled. “I don’t understand,” he said. “You seem like an ambitious person.”

  “I am an ambitious person,” Max said, a smile suddenly on his face. “I’m also a patient person.”

  “That surprises me,” Ethan said.

  Max raised his eyebrows. “It shouldn’t,” he said. “I’m still waiting for you to beg me to sleep with you.”

  Ethan laughed, shaking his head. “You’re going to be waiting for a while.”

  Max’s smile widened into a grin. “I really don’t think so,” he said.

  Ethan licked his lips, which were dry. “Why do you think I’m going to come crawling to you and asking you to fuck me?”

  Max cocked his head. His blue eyes were glimmering. “Because you are,” he said. “Because you have. You are here, after all.”

  “I’m here because I wanted to ask you a question.”

  Max straightened up slightly, brushing his shirt off. “You can keep telling yourself that.”

  Ethan blinked, leaning back on the chair. “Why do you think I’m here?”

  Max took a deep breath. When he spoke again his voice was deep and throaty. “I expect it’s because you want to crawl over here and suck me off,” he said.

  Ethan swallowed. His throat was dry, his heart was going a million miles an hour, and he wanted to open his mouth just to tell Max that he was there for answers and not for his weird sex games. Except his cock didn’t seem to agree with that and he was harder than he thought he had ever been in his life.